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Mommy & Me: Saying Yes to Her Self Expression

Why I'm saying yes to her self-expression.

This weekend it finally happened. My Z asked for two things that I’m a firm “NO” on. Nail polish and pink hair. But while I haven’t said yes to the nail polish (on toes only) just yet, I did add some pink hair to her braids. Why? I decided to throw caution to the wind and say yes to her self-expression. Because, why not? 

Why I'm saying yes to her self-expression.

A little backstory. I was the girlie girl who loved jeans, wide leg pants, and cute sandals. I didn’t start out as much of a dress fan but eventually, I grew to love dresses and skirts. Z gets her dress wearing ways from my cousin aka God Mother Fav. LOL. 

I wasn’t allowed to wear nail polish as a child. I remember getting my nails done for the first time and trust that I was an older teen if not in college already. And forget red nail polish or red lipstick. That happened when I was officially an adult. Now don’t get me wrong, my mom allowed me to rock my ponytail til the wheels fell off. She bought me the sneakers I loved (Hello Chucks and Travel Fox) and she even let me put color in my hair when I went to high school. But at 4? Nope, not happening. And honestly, I see nothing wrong with that at all. Except…

Now I’m a mom to my own little girl who has her own style and preferences. She is here for all the dresses, all the dress-up, all the dolls and every single accessory possible. As I type this she is right here changing into her 3rd look of the day. Me: Why are you changing? Z: Because I was done with that dress up dress. I went to a party with it and the party is over. Said party was in her room with her doll crew and her shadow aka baby brother. 

Me: Why are you changing?  

Z: Because I was done with that dress up dress. I went to a party with my from friends from the hair dresser in it and now the party is over.

Said party was in her room with her doll crew and her shadow aka baby brother and said friends were Baby Cake & Peyton. Because Z loves to take events she’s gone to and turn them into her daily fairy tales. 

Why I'm saying yes to her self-expression.

So when she asked for pink hair after our Mommy & Me Date at the DryBar for the premiere of Sunny Day, I said yes before I could even realize it. She was having a mini meltdown because she thought she would be getting colored hair like the characters in the show. So the yes flew out of my mouth faster than my mind could process the request. 

And 3 hours later after countless reminders (because 4-year-old’s forget NOTHING besides their chores), we ended up at the beauty shop buying pink hair. Funny enough I felt so awkward and even judged when Z blurted out “that’s the pink hair for me, right?” within earshot of two other women in the aisle. 

So here she is in her pink hair glory. 

And here I am saying yes to her self-expression. Because why not let her express herself and watch her confidence and joy grow in the process. Because I’m her mom and I get to decide what’s a go and what’s not. Because her wanting some pink hair is nothing but her innocence and inner spirit talking at the same time. Because… Why not?

P.S. She will not have pink hair when school starts next week and she will be wearing a slip when the time comes. It’s baby steps for me. I’m still old school. 

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